The gap between pink slip and red lips By HG Vrindavanlila Devi Dasi
Please accept our humble obeisance's.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada,
All glories to Sri Guru & Gauranga
The gap between pink slip and red lips By HG Vrindavanlila Devi Dasi -article from Dandavats.com
The words were still resounding in my ears. "In view of the recession we have introduced drastic strategic changes and as a part of that your position of
Manager - Content Initiatives stands terminated with immediate effect. In order to ease your exit you need to sign on the resignation papers. This will get you other regular benefits that a normal employee gets and two months' salary, lest you will be denied of everything." Suddenly there was a bump on the road and my cab landed with a thud on the road. The sound brought me back to the harsh reality of city life. I tried to feel the identity card; it was no longer there with me... oh yes, I had surrendered it before leaving the office. I felt blackmailed. The packet bearing the cheque of two months' salary was still in my hand. So, it was a reality. The company for which I had turned down other more lucrative offers, for which I had spent many sleepless nights trying to fix the problems, for which I had torn myself away from the loving arms of my little daughter, no longer needed me. Earlier it was my presence
which was in the company's interest, now it was my absence!
Et tu Brutus...! Between emotional trauma of getting cheated and blackmailed I was traumatized by the fear of uncertainty. Like other materialists, I did not
have a fat bank balance despite a reasonably good pay package. I was the only earning member. I and my daughter were like bogies attached to the engine- my
husband, who was trying to totally utilize his life towards our future spiritual regeneration. He was busy procuring land for our proposed goshala, vidyashala, and other projects in the village. He worked very hard popularizing panchgavya products and awaken awareness in the masses about the significance of cows in spiritual, social, and economical life of man. He had taken a very stupendous task in the perverted world of kaliyuga. Now this pink slip had marked a HALT on all his moves and aspirations. Now he will have to leave all those lofty projects and concentrate once again on all the material concerns, which once again was replete with uncertainty, especially when global recession engulfed the world. Materially, I was not much worried about two of us, we had lived a very difficult life before also- a life where two square meals were also not sure even during pregnancy. But what about my young daughter, who was just five? She was too tender to bear it Krishna. Tears rolled by as I could not imagine her in that situation. My maternal instincts were clouding my eyes despite the best of my effort. Krishna had helped us all through our travails in the past in mysterious ways, how come He did not come to my rescue now? As I tried to question, I could feel the lump in my throat. I felt guilty. He had always been very compassionate and immensely loving. What have I done to earn His love? - Nothing.
tatha paramahamsanam muninam amalatmanam bhakti-yoga -vidhanartham katham pasyema hi striyah
Earlier, people used to engage in severe penances to realize Him, our Srila
Prabhupada himself had to undergo such tribulations trying to spread His holy name, our Guru Maharaj was a living example of penance, simplicity, and total surrender to His supreme will. The higher reality made me red faced.
How could I have the cheek to question what He desires? Every moment was a part
of His supreme will. The situation that we are in, I was in, is what my Guru
Maharaj had forecasted years ago and was toiling hard at his advanced age amid adversities to propagate the Varnasrama mission. Only a society founded on
Varnasrama ideals will take us away from such anxieties towards the Promised Land. His Varnasrama mission was a call to realize our rich spiritual heritage that clearly defined our social, political, and economical life. It was a call to return to our roots. It was a call to return to village life which promised simplicity and was more conducive towards one's spiritual evolution. It was a call to return to where we belonged. It was a call to return to Back to Godhead - our original place. His concept of varnasrama which had appeared little utopian and difficult to understand, all of a sudden became very simple to understand.
The problems that existed at the beginning, stood as they were with no change in their gravity, but I was calm. I could feel His assuring presence around me. I had been mother to my daughter only from these five years or so, only in this birth and was I still feeling the pang for her. Will not God, will not Krishna feel the pang for us who have been His children in all the births from time immemorial? - sarva-yonisu ...aham bija-pradah pita He knows what is best for us. Though for a while, but I did lose my faith in Him and in His boundless mercy?
nasa deho, geho, jo kichu mor arpilun tuw pade, nanda-kis'or
The tradition of surrender propagated by Bhakti Vinoda Thakur was too lofty
for me. I was nowhere near to it. Oh Krishna! I am so worthless, foolish and
completely undeserving of your love and mercy and still you shower it in torrents. I was drifting away from You; and You like a loving parent brought me
back to Your lotus feet! Your red lips, mercifully shower your love even on the bamboo stick, making it an object of envy even to the gopis. The earlier
gap between pink slip and red lips was vanishing. I was closer to His red feet and red lips more than ever before.
padam padam yad vipadam
The material world is fraught with myriad dangers at every step. But they are welcome if they bring us closer to Him:
vipadah santu tah sasvat tatra tatra jagad-guro bhavato darsanam yat syad
I wish that all those calamities would happen again and again so that we could see You again and again, for seeing You means that we will no longer see repeated births and deaths.
Thanks Srila Prabhupada, thanks Guru Maharaj for giving us the anesthesia to undergo the painful surgery of material life.
Let us chant and feel with liberation from anxieties:
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare!